Talking About Life Learning
Sandra Rakovac talks to families about their life learning experiences

Fatim Walji is a stay-at-home mother who lives with her husband Fayyaz and their three children, six-year-old son Zaveer, four-year-old daughter Mishaal, and two-year-old son Junayd in Ontario, Canada. Born in Zaire, Fatim says that at times she thinks she tends to forget that maybe she is just demanding too much, and that it’s better if her children safely experience things on their own.

Q: How did you decide to unschool?
A: It's been a year this March (2008) that I decided to homeschool Zaveer. My friend Serah was doing it. That's how I learned about it. I had put Zaveer in a French public school. Thinking that it was geared towards a specific group of people, I thought he would get the attention he needed. It took me almost two years of schooling – one in Montessori and one in public – to realize that what Zaveer needed the most was me!

Q: Was this a joint decision with your partner?
A: During my pregnancy with Junayd and after he was born, I could not handle Zaveer. Junayd was nine months old when Zaveer started to go to school for the full day. The first month, I enjoyed it. Junayd was stabilizing and Zaveer was gone all day. Then I started to see all the problems. The two main things were that I was not as important in his life, and I had the worst of it – only two hours with him when he came home. I felt I was losing my child. Zaveer was also becoming influenced by other children, getting bored, and thus getting into trouble in class. So I pulled him out. That was something! On a Thursday, my husband Fayyaz dropped him off at school to find out that Friday – the next day – was his last day. Fayyaz was so furious. He told that Monday he would drag Zaveer to school, and I told him that I would call the cops because kindergarten was not mandatory and homeschooling was not illegal. Well Monday came and Fayyaz did not do anything except go to work.

Q: Describe how you unschool.
A: From April to October of that year, Zaveer sat and did his work no problem. We read everyday and did math. In fact, I would read the curriculum five books in a row with him. Then he became uninterested. He did not want to sit down. When I forced him he became bitter so I discontinued. I started to ask my muslim homeschooling friends what to do. They told me that even Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon Him) said that children under seven years of age should not have any formal type of education. That's how I started to become exposed to life learning.

Q: What has made an impact? For example: understanding learning styles, decompressing, etc.
A: Now we still have sit down time but I will read my children a story and then I offer different things for them to do. Zaveer chooses something his interested in. Sometimes he tells me before I make any suggestions. I would say that the biggest impact is understanding learning styles. With three children – both sons and a daughter – I can truly see how each of them has different needs and ways of learning.

Q: If you have read about the topic of homeschooling/unschooling has one particular author or work influenced you the most? 
A: I have not read very much in this area, but what has influenced me the most is my conversations with other life learners and making important discoveries on my own.

Q: What do you remember most about your childhood education – in school or elsewhere?
A: When I went to school it was nightmare. Between grades one and five, it was horrible. I did like not most of my classmates. Even my teachers were not the greatest. After grade five, I was with another group of students so I started enjoying myself more. But my marks were not great.

Q: How has this shaped unschooling with your children?
A: Because school was always a struggle for me, I did not want my children to live through that.

Q: Any advice or caution you would like to offer to others?
A: I don't think I can give any. You follow your gut feeling and take this route but the behaviour is still a struggle and you are trying to stop yourself from imposing yours or the societies’ expectations on them. What I mean by that is what is expected at that age? How do we know? We just assume that we know that a kid should read fluently at that age and be doing division. Most people, and even I, say do you really want an eight-year-old who does not how to read? Why is it that hard to have faith in our kids? With my younger two, I am trying not to make the same mistakes and to let them live their childhood. When we visit with family in Montreal – and, in fact, everywhere we go – it’s the same thing because you are not doing what everybody else is doing. The kids and I are bombarded with questions. Some people are just curious, most are very judgemental.

Readers are invited to participate in this ongoing interview series. If you would like to be interviewed, please email the editor and use “LL Interview Series” as the subject line. Topics that could be explored further include discussions with entire families (including children), fathers, single parents, special needs families, partners who have joined a family with unschooling already in progress and grandparents who homeschool.